Sex is a natural part of the human experience. Without sex, there would be no human life on earth in the first place. Yet, some people have this misconception about disabled people, such as the deaf, wherein they don’t enjoy sex, probably because their bodies are not as physically capable as others.
“This capacity to experience the daimonic quality of sex or eros is an essential and centering part of being human. It reminds us that we are, first and foremost, as Freud pointed out, passionate creatures, motivated and driven by primitive, irrational forces operating just below the surface of civilization and rationality far more powerful than our puny little egos,”writes Stephen A. Diamond Ph.D.
However, they’re just as human as anybody, and sex is just as important to them. Here are a few of the interesting things you should know about the sex lives of deaf people.
- Watch Out For The Implants
Many hearing-impaired people use cochlear implants so that they can pick up sounds better. Usually, these devices aren’t problematic when it comes to sex, although some couples find them annoying since they fall off or get bumped off frequently.
“Cochlear implants do work. I should know; I have two. They let me use the phone and listen to the radio, and I do surprisingly well at parties,” writes Michael Chorost Ph.D.
Think of them as glasses. It might be best to store them away when you want to be intimate with your partner, but you might be thinking about how people can convey their desires to their partner without the implants then.
- Communication Is Key
Deaf people tend to have excellent communication skills, partially because their disability means that they’ll have to compensate for that. Thus, if there are any expectations or desires that you have about sex, talking about it with them beforehand is advisable.
There’s no need to get all puritanical or pink-faced about it either. As long as both of you are consenting grown-ups, sex shouldn’t be a taboo topic for you two to discuss. Take some time off to talk about it thoroughly.
“Without question, adults who have a difficult time speaking openly about sex can end up in unfulfilled partnerships impacting relational sustainability,” writes Karla Ivankovich Ph.D., M.A.
- Sexting Is Sexy
Of course, some people think sexting is sexy, and others believe it is a turnoff. However, most deaf people find sexting attractive, partially because written words hold more sentimental value to them than most would appreciate.
You can even get creative with your sexts nowadays since emojis or photos can be incorporated into the mix. Some people take the traditional route, using a simple pen and paper to express themselves. Poetry can be sexy too!
- There Will Be Sounds
Many people wonder if deaf people make sounds during sex. A lot of deaf people make audible moans or groans during sex, just like any animal capable of engaging in sexual intercourse. Even the most silent pant or gasp, at the very least.
Of course, the loudest sounds don’t mean that the pleasure derived from sex is also great. Sounds are easy to fake, so communication is still key to understanding what your partner wants.
Being deaf, or any disability for that matter, shouldn’t be a hindrance to enjoying romance and sex. In fact, you might even say that your life becomes more interesting as a result of your disability.
Not all people experience love in the same way. Similarly, sex is a very complicated experience, and it doesn’t work out the same way for everyone. Being deaf adds a whole other layer of complexity to the experience so don’t be ashamed of it!