It takes two to tango. In tango, all couples should work in-sync to make a perfect step. That belief also holds true in marriages. Especially for marriages from entirely different cultural backgrounds. It takes more work from both sides to make these kinds of marriages successful.
“Security about the future—commitment safety—is crucial because most people do not invest in something, whether a financial asset or a relationship, without some reasonable confidence in what is on the horizon,” writes Scott M. Stanley Ph.D.
Marriages involving deaf and hearing individuals can also be considered in this spectrum.
This kind of marriage is as culturally diverse compared to interracial marriages. Why may you ask? The deaf has their own different set of cultural beliefs and practices.
Though the couple lives in the same country, they will initially experience many setbacks due to this diversity. Thus, that begs the question: can a deaf-hearing marriage work? The answer is a resounding YES.
It all depends on the couple themselves. Here are some of the tips successful deaf-hearing marriages share to have a successful married life.
Often, the outlook of the spouses toward each other and their marriage makes or breaks the relationship. Maintaining a positive attitude in every circumstance is critical.
In a deaf-hearing marriage, adjustments can get difficult, and for some, things get even tougher. That is why it is essential to breeze through these adjustments by maintaining a positive outlook on your marriage.
“The fact that our expectations can change is important for the long term success of a marriage. Keep an optimistic outlook and a positive perspective, but at the same time keep your eyes and your mind open,” write Rob Pascale Ph.D and Lou Primavera Ph.D.
Whether it may be learning to increase your self-esteem or to learn more about your spouse’s tendencies, never stop learning. Though it can be a long process, it will be fruitful in the end.
In cross-cultural marriages, being committed to learning is essential in bridging any gap of doubt and may lead you to understand your spouse even more. Listening to testimonials of people who have gone through these same situations as well as engaging in support groups will help you learn more about how to deal with your spouse in times of uncertainty, even on a daily basis.
Adopting skills such as advanced sign language, lip reading, deaf culture should also be considered. These are only some of the things you can study together to learn more about each other’s struggles. These classes can also be great bonding activities.
“If it’s not possible to love everything about your partner (which is very likely the case), can you at least embrace—unconditionally—the overall ‘package’ that is your partner (mostly good but, admittedly, with some not-so-endearing features as well)?” writes Leon F Seltzer Ph.D.
In any marriage, communication is key. It can get tricky in a deaf-hearing marriage, but you should try harder anyway.
Maintaining a line of communication with your spouse, no matter what kind, can strengthen the bond between the two of you. Clear communication between spouses can quickly fix growing problems and state expectations. In time, you will able to choose the kind that will work for your marriage. The trick is not to give up easily.
Remember To Love Your Spouse Always
You can always choose how to react in any given situation. When your future together seems bleak, keep your eyes on the brighter side and work with your spouse towards a solution.
In the end, a successful marriage all boils down to everyday decisions. Communicating can get frustrating at times, especially when you cannot understand one another clearly. Some cases, misinterpretation causes other meanings to your intended words. It is easy to be misunderstood in a deaf-hearing marriage. Take heart. Choose to love always.